Saturday, May 2, 2009

How it Began

It started with a phone conversation with my sister about how I was either going through a late growth spurt (wishful thinking) or the bra I had worn 3 days earlier, which was a cup size too small, had done some hurtful damage. She laughed and told me I was pregnant.

She went through the normal questions: when was your last period?...aren't you on birth control?... I grew angry...SERIOUSLY, the thought would've never crossed my mind if it weren't for her. So I decided to take a pregnancy test just to spite her.

Two tests later I decided that the cheapest pregnancy tests that came in a TWIN pack that I purchased were cheap and therefore were giving me false "possible positives" (the lines were so faint and even though I read the directions a gazillion times I took it as the stupid tests were giving me "maybe's"). So the next test I bought was the second to the cheapest and I ended up taking it in the bathroom of Kohl's...and the same thing happened. The faint little line that I could barely see was making faces at me. I shoved the darn thing in my purse (NOT because I had the intention of saving it for a keepsake -- gross!...but because...haven't you ever seen a pregnancy test in the trash of public bathrooms? You start making up these stories in your head about the last person you saw in there...and I'm paranoid) and bee-lined out to the parking lot and into the comfort of my car where I called to make an appointment to take a "real" test at the doctor's.

The nurse was soo excited all I could do was nod and put on a fake smile while gritting my teeth and shoving back the tears. As she escorted me to the door she gave me instructions on what to do next then asked, "you are going to keep it, right?" HOW DARE SHE ask me such a question! I didn't know her! Like it would be any of her business!...Putting me on the spot like that...I should've sued for the anxiety she put me through...and for shattering my dreams...

I drove around town for 3 hrs and decided I should try to eat something if only to kill time and figure out what would be the proper way to tell him (my boyfriend of 4yrs). I concluded that there was no proper way.

"I have to tell you something..." is all I could muster up and left it to him to guess what I needed to tell him as I cried into the sheets of the bed. I know he knew instantly but he was beating around the bush, throwing out answers, "you cheated on me?..." in hopes I would nod "yes" to ANYTHING other than "you're pregnant?" Not much else was said for the rest of the night.

The next day he called and said "I talked to my dad and he said 'it'll be alright'..." And with that we were.

His entire family knew within a day and as for took about a month. I was soo scared to tell my parents that the event ended up like this: I started crying after I sat my parents down and my boyfriend (the poor guy) ended up breaking the news.

My first ultrasound showed not one, but definitely TWO heartbeats with a possibility of a third! That was like finding out I was pregnant all over again! My second ultrasound confirmed just 2.

It's funny how things turn out...I honestly think the night I got pregnant was the night I discussed with my boyfriend that I decided (after an awkward conversation with his mother about how he would want his children raised) I never wanted children...ever...and that if he ever wants children, he should probably start looking elsewhere and not waste any more time with me.

I was never really the "motherly" type person and a friend of mine from work admitted that she "worried for the sake of my unborn children".

He "proposed" to me at our fav vacation spot in our third mo. of pregnancy. There was no kneeling down on one knee. No clearing of the throat followed by an obviously well thought out speech of his unending love for me. None of that mushy love story kind of stuff. He told me he bought me something and handed me the box. On the drive back to our suite I realized he didn't even ask me the question "Will you marry me?"...Nicholas Sparks will never re-tell our story!


  1. Welcome to blogging from one mother of twins to another. I came across from Mom Bloggers Club.

    Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to getting to know you and your family.

  2. Im following you too... isnt it funny how life happens when we arent expecting it?

  3. My husband proposed to me twice. Once when he was depressed on his birthday and then when I said (not a yes or no but rather) "that seems to be where we are headed" ... he followed it up with "I just wanted something good to happen today" ... well... that was romantic. Then, he proposed to me again... while I was in my 2nd trimester with our son Nathan (2 yrs old now) ... he left our house and then called me on his way to work, and said "ya know, I was thinking ... we should get married next month" ... ahhhhhhhhhh .... yeah, so I don't think Nicolas Sparks will be telling our story either.

  4. How brave you are to share that story! I am glad that you made the decision that was right for you and have two lovely daughters to show for it!

    I'm following you from the MBC Under 100 Club. I'm looking forward to reading more.

  5. Wow! That's quite a story, so glad I wandered in from the BMC, I'm a happy follower and will be back soon:)


  6. that was a "story!" and look what you got from all of it, two sweet girls! welcome to the bogespher and nice to meet you, i look forward to following as your girls grow! stop by and say hi anytime!